Humans love to make excuses, don’t they. Like when we’re stuck at what to say, when somebody catches us red-handed, or use our words (especially when we accidentally had the wrong word choice) against us, we are just so inclined to create excuses to save our face.

Or at least I do. Anyway for me, it happened during scholarship interview I went to last… 15 April (wow long time I held on to this post eh). They kinda asked me why I didn’t choose to attend an overseas university and I just wanted to be honest saying that I didn’t feel confident, independent and qualified enough. Like, look at all those who went overseas and came back with all those funky accents and cheese like that. Can’t see myself being like them you know. And I haven’t actually quite finished yo! before the female interviewer was like, oh if you aren’t confident or think you’re qualified enough then why did you apply for this scholarship, because we are paying for your studies you know. And then I knew I shouldn’t have been honest then. So I kinda “shit you said the wrong thing u baboon u just killed yourself” so I started giving excuses like, oh I know that bla bla that’s why I’m deciding to stay in the local uni’s hostel and all so that I can learn to be independent and whatnot. Then I was also giving excuses to myself thinking that oh I actually wanted, should have said something about opportunities, how preparing for these was an enriching and whatever experience, which actually I was only just thinking about it moments before! Omg can’t help but smack my friggin head with popcorn and get black lung disease.

Anyway here I’d like to say that: it’s doesn’t matter what you meant to do, it’s your actions that matter. You know that fanfic quote “intentions don’t matter, actions do”. Besides, if you meant to have said it you should already have when you had the opportunity (#GrandpaRandy). No point regretting. Just take it as a learning experience.

Such a Wimp.

Had two bad falls one after another oh gosh. And the circumstances of those falls are weird. Like it’s a straight wide road with no incoming human hazards and I just fell. Twice. So now there’s this big wound on my left palm and festering lumps and pulling- tearing on my pain receptors (Omg the doc’s cream is making it worse I tell you), and a huge bruise on my left thigh as well as other places, and double abrasions on my left knee, and scratches everywhere, and moral of the story is: never cycle when you only just sprained your ankle not two days ago.

Besides this takeaway there are other realisations I had too, during the two days since my fallS on Saturday afternoon when my parents took care of me (as those rich guys with that heartbeat-scope (?) were off having fun and chillaxing over the weekend). So anyway the first is that I’m a bigfat wimp, and the second is that my parents do not deserve having this bigfat wimp.

Okay so let me remind myself why I’m a bigfat wimp: I can’t even bear the pain proudly or at least tolerate it. Stupid sensitive pain receptors, stupid frail tearducts, stupid weak moron. Just because it stings and burns doesn’t mean you have to sting and burn your eyes with unholy saltwater. Stupid fool as in I was not able to take care of my own stupid self and whining and grunting and grumbling about the pain. Just suck it up you damned fool. Some lame little prickly pain can’t incapacitate you; you haven’t even seen true horrors and experience real agony. Look at this Pear of Anguish, look at it I tell you! Instead of facing the wall go stare at this.


This bigfat wimp also has to undeservingly have someone serving this bigfat wimp. First people have to look after your totally puny wounds, pick up your rubbish, pull your heavy self from the ground, get you a cab, show you concern, deal with the bicycle you so horribly treated, upset the taxi driver with your stupid presence, have your shoe taken off by your father, have your father rush down to the pharmacy since the docs not open, have your father have your brother make drinks for you, have your father get a stool in the bathroom and wrap your puny wounded handed with a plastic bag, (and then in deserved agony bathe myself), then have my father clean my wounds (and this bigfat wimp can’t even stay still), have my father serve me dinner, have my parents looking after me (my mum was out then) and all. So yeah..

Bigfat wimp.

The Clash of Contrarian (and often Opposing) Views

Even though what those awkward dissenters say may be counter-intuitive at first, at least they introduce another view challenging some norm of ours. Sometimes they may have been myopic, sometimes they may actually be right, though they often get put down legally or socially. But either way, I think they always teach us something. For example, those climate change “deniers” show us that the facts and science behind it has not been delivered clearly, that not many people fully and truly understand the seriousness of the issue or even the simplest facts. In fact I myself have been fooled several times by their picking at loopholes which I didn’t know how to counter. In my country, Roy Ngerng and his blog, The Heart Truths ( have made me realise how stupid I am, because I have actually not given much – if any – thought to the country, the world around me. While he may have somehow incurred the wrath of the government, I feel that his views and opinions are valid and sound and not quite “defamatory”. Society just isn’t too accepting of contrarian (are they really?) views, is it?

Anyway I think everyone should be respected regardless of how contrarian their views are or how backward it may be. It only goes to show that we don’t understand where they are coming from.